Mother Of All Zits
by sacha-lee
Summary: Bella has a problem that she can't get rid off, so Edward get's Alice on hand to help her out, but getting her to Alice seems to be a little bit of a problem to Bella's confidence. What does Emmett have to say? PURE HUMOUR. ExB
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, or any of these characters.**

**MOTHER OF ALL ZITS.**

**Bella Swan.**

I groaned as I looked in the mirror. There _it _was, it probably measured about two centimeters across, I felt like puking at the way the white bit looked like it was going to pop any minute now. I frowned, making faces, hoping it would go away. I groaned again once realising it wasn't going to disappear any time soon. A quick knock on the door caught my attention. "Yes?" I asked.

"Are you OK in there?" Edward asked.

I laughed nervously. "Great. I'll be out in a minute."

"M'kay." He mumbled.

I turned back around to the medicine cupboard, pulling on a determined face. Rooting through the medicine cupboard I threw unwanted objects across the bathroom, them all landing in the bathtub. I growled as I continued rooting through it until I came across the bottle I wanted. _'Zit remover' _ I grinned. "Halle- FUCKING- lujah!" I held it up in the air cherishing it for a moment.

"Bella?" Edward asked worried from the other side of the door.

"I'm fine I'm fine." I sung happily.

As I unscrewed the lid, flinging it to the other side of the room and held it down on my hand I began to tap the top of it with my palm. Nothing came out. "FUCK FUCK FUCK."

"Are you sure your OK?"

"Yeah I'm fine." I replied, before lowering my voice to mutter to myself. "Stupid fucking cupboard and stupid fucking face."

He opened the door, gasped, then put his hand over his mouth. "It's OK, Alice will sort this."

"Better." I grumbled.

He practically flew down the stairs and into his Volvo, driving off to the Cullen's house. He picked me up bridal style till we got to the front door and put me down, holding an arm around my shoulder.

"It's going to be OK, don't worry." He assured, sounding scared.

"Bella, there's a tumour on your forehead." Emmett stated calmly. I lowered my eyes. "Hey, it's OK, I'm sure if I call Carlisle he can get rid of it and you'll be all better in no time."

"Emmett." Edward muttered. "Don't be an idiot, it's only a zit."

"FUCK, HOLY SHIT!" He shouted. "ONLY A ZIT? ONLY A ZIT?" Emmett shrieked, he pointed a finger at Edward. "YOU, YOUR FUCKING INSANE YOU ARE!" He gave my forehead a horrified look before running out the door. "ROSALIE, YOU WERE RIGHT, SHE _IS_ DISGUSTING!"

Edward lifted me up flitting up the stairs whilst murmuring to himself. He threw open Alice's bedroom door, it breaking and causing cracks to appear in the ceiling.

"Holy mother of s-" Alice put her hand over Jaspers mouth, as his eyes got frightened and he ran out in the same manner Emmett did.

Alice smiled a little awkwardly, before ushering me into her bathroom. "Operation, exterminate zit." Alice pulled a disgusted face before getting to work. "_Fucking hell, the size of this thing_" She muttered.

**Lol. :) REVIEW!**

_A/N I thought this would be hilarious!_


	2. Chapter 2

Confesssion-

just over 2 years ago was when I uploaded 'my' first story, it was about the Cullens returning to forks after breaking dawn

since then i've deleted that story

why?

Because the story was crap, the plot was awful and my writing was just complete bull shit

only when 'I' had started writing other stories did people take interest in my work

truth is, they weren't my stories to publish

they never were meant to be published on a website like this

I had been emailing a friend, who didnt like twilight but liked the characters and setting, minus the vampires and werewolves

she began writing stories with different plots in emails, just to entertain me, and I abused whatever trust she had in me by posting them on here

a lot of stuff was going on in my life and I craved the attention

I will no longer be posting or updating anything on this site

im really sorry to every one this has effected

you can message me on here or email me if you'd like

sachay (at) hotmail (dot) co (dot) uk


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